I’ve really been thinking about where I am right now in my life, and in some areas I’m satisfied but in others I’m not.
For instance, I’ve been contemplating getting away. Away from the area I live in. I’m getting tired of it already. I fear reaching complacency when it comes to my life in general and I need adventure. I really have been thinking about moving to another country, another culture. Not that I want to go somewhere entirely different from what I’m used to. I want to go somewhere similar in many ways, but different in many ways too. I’m thinking I might do this in my early twenties. Not sure when exactly, but while I’m still young.
And in life in general, I’ve noticed that I don’t trust people as easily as I used to. I suppose it’s only natural, but I don’t like it. I tend to misjudge people’s intentions just to protect myself from trusting someone then possibly being betrayed by them. I hate that I think this way now. It holds me back from great relationships that I could have. I just want to break this curse of over thinking things. If I only took more chances, I’d be able to venture out and make other friends that I wouldn’t normally. I mean, I can make friends so easily, but furthering those friendships to make them close friendships is hard for me to do sometimes. I wish I could change that. I need to trust people more.
I guess in short I really just need to make a change in my life. Some big change because I’m tired of my comfortable complacent life as it is right now. My last thoughts can be summed up in this quote from “The Day I Lost My Voice (The Suitcase Song)” by Copeland:
“I’ve got my life in a suitcase, I’m ready to run away. I’ve got no time, cause I’m always trying to run away. Because every day in here seems like it’s only a game, I’ve got my life in a suitcase
For a moment I was warm and the world made sense, for a moment here this storm had no consequence…”